Cool As Ice Movie Recap (1991)

 

Cool As Ice Movie Recap

The movie begins with Johnny Van Owen, I guess Vanilla wanted to make a play on his name Robert Van Winkle. He’s a rapper and he start the movie off by rapping the theme song for the movie. Naomi Campbell actually did background vocals for this song and it wasn’t a C+C Factory situation. In fact, she a whole music career. It didn’t go anywhere, wait a minute this aint her video. After he get’s done with his show or montage or whatever they do, Johnny and his crew hope on his bike. While in a small town he catches an eye for a brunette on a horse. Johnny is a douche because his showing off, the horse got scared and causes this girl to fall of the horse. She justifiably gut punches him and Johnny assumes that he is her type. One of the crew’s bike starts to malfunction they drive to a repair shop and they hang out. They pretty much spend the movie here. They crew take the whole make you feel like home.

Johnny then spots the women he help fall off the horse which she does have a name and it’s Kathy. She has a boyfriend name Nick but he keeps calling him Dick and he’s already unimpressed with him. Johnny tries to become Mr. Steal Your Girl and advises Kathy to dump Mr. Boring and get with Mr. Cool. Johnny goes to his crew where he brags about stealing her little black book. Kathy is then spotted on the local news about her achievements but Johnny isn’t the only one viewing this. Some other men are seeking her father as he’s been under witness protection without much reason.

The next day Johnny shows up uninvited but Kathy isn’t home, she’s at the Sugar Shack where he pops up. Johnny is on some next level stalker stuff. At the Sugar Shack, the music is drowning out the vibe of the club. So Johnny comes in an unplug the band and performs “The People Choice”, which samples Thank You for Let Me Be My Self and if I was Sly Stone, I would crack Rob in his skull for butchering his song and sample because he sounds Dull as hell. After the performance Kathy is getting impressed with him. She gives him 24 hours to return her little black book/organizer or she’ll call the police. The way things are going, she should call the cops anyway for a potential stalking. Speaking of 24 hours, the hitmen show up to Kathy’s father home and orders him to fork over a half million dollars or face the wrath of the hitmen. Back at the Sugar Club, Kathy and her boyfriend have an argument about the dance and she decides to walk home. While walking home, she’s being followed by the hitmen until Johnny comes up and save the day. He orders her to hop on his bike and he takes her home. Father then scolds his daughter not to accept rides from strangers, especially given his circumstance.

Nick #2 is outside destroying Johnny’s friends bikes, in time for Johnny to spot this. Johnny decides to go a full 5 on 1 and he somehow wins. The next day Johnny sneaks into Kathy’s bedroom and wakes her up, but at least he gives her back the little black book. They were bout to make sex until her brother comes in and Johnny promise him a bike ride. Johnny and Kathy go out on a ride and the connect. The arrive at a construction site and that’s where we get the song “Never Wanna Be Without You”. When I first heard this rap song, I said why is he rapping so slow and hush. After their day on the town, dad comes crashing in and tells him to get out because earlier in the movie, Johnny was in contact with the hitmen unknowingly asking them for directions to the Sugar Club.

Father then talks to Kathy about the whole witness protection situation he put his family through. She tries to insist Johnny isn’t working with the men but father convinces that he’s one of the bad guys. Johnny tries to talk to Kathy but she gives him the cold shoulder and he believes that her dad is influencing her decision. Kathy’s brother Tommy visits Johnny and he’s ready for the bike ride and Tommy shoots the bird at Kathy’s “ex”. Back with the gang can someone tell me what’s going on with the gang, they have been stuck at the bike shop for at least two days. Back with Tommy, he shows up home alone and finds the two hitmen. The hitmen were looking for his father but they decide to hold him hostage. Kathy then shows up and discover the ring she gave him meaning he has been here.

The gang finally get their bikes fixed but they order Johnny to go back and say goodbye to Kathy. That fails and Johnny give him a tape. In the tape, it’s Tommy telling his folks that he’s been kidnapped by the hitmen. Father knows it’s certain that Johnny is involved. Then we get a visit from the zero.  The zero tells him that he seen Tommy with Johnny on the bike ride. Father calls the cops on Johnny and Kathy runs out with the tape. She shows up to find Johnny and his gang who are surprisingly still at the bike shop. Kathy plays the tape but Johnny noticed a background noise like he some detective. Thanks to detective Johnny, Tommy is at the construction site where Johnny and Kathy were hanging out. They bust in and save the day. After this, father acknowledge Johnny and thanks him for saving his son. Johnny tells Kathy that it’s time for him to leave but Kathy wants to go with him. Nick shows up one last time to breakup with Kathy but all this gets him is his new cars being used as a ramp for Johnny. The movie closes him performing Get With It, thank God this movie is over.

Final Thoughts: In all honesty, this movie is 100% booty cheeks. I seen in interviews that the only reason Vanilla Ice agreed to do this was a cash grab and today he hasn’t talked about this much today. Normally I would have thoughts on the character but I only have thoughts for Johnny because Johnny came off kind of toxic. He made Kathy fall off her horse, stalked her on ends so she can dump her loser boyfriend, he broke into her bedroom tries to become Mr. Steal Your Girl. Johnny is very unlikeable, until he saves Tommy. Overall, this was a Razzie award winning movie for a reason, it’s terrible a movie, one not worth remembering.